12 November 2011

I Might Be In Love

I might be in love. Is this love?

I wonder not because of how strongly it overwhelms my senses, but because of how subtle it is. So easy to forget for weeks or months until it slips back into my mind - you slip back into my mind, and I wonder - I might be in love. Is this what love's like for me? Always in the background, like elevator music, but I can always fall back on you when love crosses my mind.

Or maybe its not. Perhaps this is just another incident of a romantic interest that one day will easily be exchanged for another.

I'm not the type to brood on my solitude. I'm either happy with where things are, or too distracted with the sorrow of having few friends. Love and romantic loneliness seldom cross my mind. But when it does slip through the cracks, I can't help but wonder - am I in love?

Until it again slips my mind.

On Bugs

I am ambivalent about bugs.

I don't take them outside to save a precious life. When someone asks me to get rid of a spider, I squash it quickly and move on with my life. No fear: I've become the default but killer with many of my friends. But I don't kill them with fury, either. The spiders I find in my room or the bathroom just keep living. I don't bother them, I don't fear them, and they, too, leave me alone. I've been bitten by spiders before, but it doesn't really hurt so bad. Just an unfortunate consequence of co-existence, I suppose.

Bugs can be pretty cool. When I find an especially interesting one, I might examine it and stare at it for a bit. But I don't gasp with joy at the possibility of seeing such a creature: the great beetle who's latin name is Bugister Coolisco! Nothing of that sort.

Just little bugs in large amounts freak me out a little, but I've even gotten over my once awful fear of ants. I just walk away. No fuss. No problem.

I just wander why I feel the need to write a blog post about something I'm so ambivalent about.